Welcome to the exciting world of me trying to make a new start and become a better me!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Week #19 Weigh-In

Good afternoon everyone!

I sheepishly post this blog following last week's "I gained a pound, woah is me" rant. This week, I lost 3 lbs.! Nearly fell over when I saw that on the scale! This brings the total loss to 32 lbs. in just less than 5 months! It also solidified that I really DO gain weight during that time of the month, and that freaking out about it really just makes me feel like crap. It is part of my makeup as a woman, for better or worse, and one of those things that I need to just deal with.

Now that I've lost 32 lbs., the hubby has promised to take me shopping for some new clothes. Truthfully, I actually would rather HE go shopping. Kurt's lost 22 lbs. since the beginning of the year (yay hubby!), and he really has nothing that fits him anymore. I have clothes that I now fit into again, so the amount of shopping I really need to do has been decreased (not that I wouldn't jump on the opportunity to go shopping, but he really does need it more than I do...).

I wish I could say that this week has been off to a good start. However, 2 days of eating hot dogs and hamburgers has been like blech, and I'm definitely feeling it today. So, it's back to normal life, and eating well for the rest of the week. Hopefully, losing 3 lbs. wasn't a fluke and will continue the wonderful downward spiral this week, into the 5 month mark of this adventure.

Until next week.... stay thirsty my friends. ;)

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Week # 18 Weigh-In: My Own Worst Critic

Greetings All,

Amid another busy week, I find some time to blog. Last week, I gained 1 lb., bringing total weight loss back up to 29 lbs. This week, this pound has become an obsession. I found myself really pissed off about it, dwelling on it... what I did right, what I did wrong. In reality (and I KNOW this), my weight fluctuates towards the high side when Aunt Flo is visiting, and like clockwork, I gain 1 lb. and the good Aunt arrives. It's been this way for 5 months. But it doesn't matter. I have kicked my ass this week over this stupid pound.

It's not been easy. We are now in full gear getting ready for the show now w/ practices every night of the week, which means I don't go home between work and rehearsal. Which means dinner is what I can scrounge up or can go get. I have gone out of my way to eat decently while I'm eating out, but it's still been difficult. I get home around 9:30 - 10:00, visit w/ the hubby for a minute, and then go to bed. Repeat.

Yes, the days have been hella-long. Yes, I am tired as hell. Yes, I miss my husband and my house needs cleaned. But the truth is, I am absolutely LOVING doing the show. I've met some really great people. I am having fun. I feel more alive than I have in a looooooooong time. I forgot how much I love theatre; the feeling of being on stage in front of people, the feeling of a stage under your feet, the way a theatre smells, the people that you meet... things I have missed for a long, long time. I feel like I'm finding me again.

And yet, I am torn between the high of the adrenalin of theatre and beating myself up over gaining a pound. Do I need to re-assess my priorities? Do I have to be so focused on losing weight that I cannot do things I love? Do I need to be getting my ass out of bed at 5:30 to work out prior to working 13 hour days? How can you do everything you want to do - everything you need to do? Balance in life has never exactly been a strong suit of mine. I like being busy - or perhaps the better word is consumed - by things that are not the mundane, everyday tasks. Anyone who knows me well knows that I do not half-ass anything. I'm all or nothing.

So, I try to do better this week, which I think I have. I remain my own worst critic. Because if I'm not, I'll lose my will. And no one else will do it for me. Hopefully, I will feel better about myself next week. In the meantime, I continue to fight. I love life. I work hard. I kick my own ass. I remain conflicted and unbalanced.

.... until next time... 

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Week #17 Weigh-In

Hello All,

Hooray. I hit a milestone this past week! I lost 1.8 lbs., bringing my total loss to 30 lbs.!!!! 2 more pounds and the hubby is taking me shopping (I'm sure he's forgotten this promise by now... but this your little reminder, honey....).

I was really pleased w/ the results from the past week. I really did eat pretty well, at least until the weekend got here. This week, however, hasn't been as successful. I've had play practice nearly every night this week (except tomorrow... can't wait for a day off!), so it's involved eating when and where I can. I guess I'll find out when I go to weigh myself this weekend.

Work and life has also been busy. I like my life in a state of naturally-occuring busy, but lately, it's been like, WTF-kinda busy, added in w/ sleeping poorly and little exercise. I actually am missing it. I wish there were more hours in the day....

But, I'm making progress and moving along, and that's what matters. :)

Monday, May 9, 2011

Weigh-In: Week #16

Hello All...

So it has been 4 months since I've been tracking my weight loss. Time flies when you're having fun... ha ha!

This was not a spectacular week, for no other reason other than laziness on my part. I did not eat like I should, and for that, I gained .4 lbs. So, I'm still at a loss of 27 lbs., over 10 lbs. my initial goal, but I am still irritated about the gain. Just means I'm working hard this week....

Not that exercising is happening much. Have play practice every night this week. So I'm going to have to kick my ass w/ food, and hope that next week, my practice schedule allows me to go to the gym. I miss it. Especially w/ the weather nice, I really wanna hop in a pool! :)

Talk to y'all soon! :)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Weigh-Ins # 13, 14, 15

I have been a terrible blogger. It's been 3 weeks or so since I've had a chance to blog about my weight loss. Things have been sooooooooo hectic and the best word to describe things lately has been distracted. I spent most of last week in jury duty, which was interesting, but kept me away from work when I really needed to be there. So I'm super behind there. My car is on a slow death march, so I've been car shopping. I've had play practices and we're remodeling a room in our house which is like super-consuming... so w/ all of that, blogging has taken a back seat. Dieting, however, has not. Working out has been nearly impossible though. There's just not enough hours in a day to do everything you want to do. :(

So, week #13, I lost .6 lbs. Week # 14, I lost 1.6 lbs. Week # 15 I lost 1.6 lbs. That's a 3 week total of 3.8 lbs. and a total loss of 28 lbs. I am really happy to be so close to 30 lbs. lost! :)

I was trying some clothes on yesterday w/ a girl friend, and I am proud to say that woman's clothes are too big on me now!!!! That felt really good. Granted, I'm sure I'm going to be shopping at Lane Bryant and the Avenue for a while... but the fact that 1X and 2X things are big is wonderful!

I also went crazy and bought a bathing suit that I really want to look nice in by the end of the summer! It's really adorable and looks like a 50's pin-up girl bathing suit - black w/ white polka-dots, a little skirt, low cut. Very cute. Not that I have a reason to wear a bathing suit, aside from water aerobics, but it's a goal. It fit when I tried it on yesterday, but not as well as I would hope. To be fair, I hate trying on bathing suits w/ underwear on and I was very full from dinner.... but it's a nice goal to have. :)

So that's where I'm at. Again, my apologies for not writing sooner. I'll keep in touch a little better. :)