Welcome to the exciting world of me trying to make a new start and become a better me!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Weigh-In: Weeks 27, 28, and 29: Cookie Weight and Ex-Boyfriends

Greetings Blog Readers,

Another 3 weeks have come and gone. The dieting has gone better over the past few weeks. Even got back into working out, which feels great when you have a lot on your mind. I tend to forget that when I'm working out, I forget everything else and am solely concentrating on not dying. LOL.

Anyways, the past 3 weeks have gone a little something like this:

Week 27 - Gained 4 lbs. Yeah. 4 lbs. Damn near had a heart attack! But it was that time, so I kind of figured it would be up, but not THAT up. I also blamed it on what I affectionately called "cookie weight" after indulging on that delicious cookie tray I mentioned in my last post. So, I knew I'd have to wait a week and see what was "cookie weight" vs. monthly visitor weight...

Week 28 - Lost 4.4 lbs. Yeah. Screw you cookies! Take that!

Week 29 - Lost 2 lbs. Happy dance! This puts me at a total of 37 lbs. since the start of the year! It is oh-so nice to see the numbers going down for a change... I was getting real sick of flirting w/ 35 lbs.... it's like an old boyfriend or something... like, that was nice, time to move on.

Due to the fact that it's late on a Saturday night and I'm getting tired, I really don't have a whole lot more to say. But I do. I'm just tired and don't feel like doing a hearty blog at the moment. Will write more later, when I'm more awake.

Later. :)

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Weigh-In: Weeks 24, 25, 26: In Search of Zen

Hello Friends,

Long time, no see. I wish I had something to blame it on... not that I haven't been busy... but not enough that I should have ignored my blog for 3 weeks. Such is life, I suppose. Seems like I've been having the same feeling about the lifestyle change...

So, over the past 3 weeks, I gained .2lbs, lost 1.6 lbs., and then lost 0 lbs. I am still flirting with down 35 lbs. since the beginning of the year. I shouldn't be irritated... I'm still 10 lbs. over my goal for this time of the year. I was doing so well in the beginning - super-motivated, ambitious. Now, other things have my attention. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's something I absolutely have to figure out how to balance my life.

I can tell you right now, this week has been particularly abysmal. I hosted a cast party for the show I was in earlier this summer at the house, and had a metric ton of leftovers that finally got out of the house today. One of my achilles' heels, though, was a cookie tray I bought at Sam's Club that was hardly touched. That tray of cookies was like having drugs around someone who was out of rehab. I know that's a pretty harsh comparison, but seriously, that's how it felt. I couldn't keep my hands off of the cookies. Even if I didn't want one. Even if I wasn't hungry. I would be walking through the kitchen and be like "ooh, cookie." And truthfully, I feel like shit. I've ate like shit, and I feel it. It's the re-introduction of large amounts of sugar to the body. I remember it from the last time I did this diet. I am lethargic, moody, and have a chronic tummyache. It's a terrible feeling, until your body adjusts to digesting or metabolizing sugar again. However, that's not really an option I'm considering going back to. So begins the official re-detox. And it will probably be equally sucky. I sit here writing the blog and want to do nothing except sit on my ass, which is totally counter-productive. *sigh*

I have about 15 more lbs. to go. I've done it at least twice over thus far. This should not be so hard. But it is. I have plateaued, and really, I think it's about finding some balance in my life.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Weigh-in: Week #23


I am officially sick of the whole once-a-month visitor/weight gain correlation. I don't really think I helped it much this week, though. Evidently, my post-show hangover also included generally poor eating habits this week. I ended up gaining 2 lbs. this week. :(

I'm not bummed, though. I'm learning that I go through this and to be patient. It's just a pain in the ass. And that perhaps I need to help myself through these wonderful times by actually not eating like shit, like I did this week. I had wings TWICE this week! I really need to get back into the mindset of self control. That's half the battle. CHOOSING what I SHOULD eat as opposed to what sounds good. But I'm going to do better. I am going to go back to working out. B/c the alternative is not something I am ever going back to. Period.

I will say this, though... was going through my summer clothes that I bought last year to go to Myrtle Beach. I had to give away a lot of the shorts and capris. They were ridiculously big. That was a good feeling. I'm down 2 whole pant sizes since I bought them, and it really does feel nice to put on jeans from college and not feel entirely self-concious in them (or the fact I can squeeze into them is nice, too!).

So that's where I'm at this week. Taking it all in stride, but beating myself up enough to stay motivated...

Tune in next time.... ;)

Monday, June 20, 2011

Weigh-In: Weeks 20, 21, 22: Hello Old Friend!

Hello Everyone,

My apologies yet again for not posting for a few weeks. The last few weeks have been consumed by the play, or actually having to do work at work (shocker there, I know!). However, yesterday was the final performance. Today is the hangover (and that's kinda how I feel today, too!). While I believe I will have the opportunity to work w/ the same people at some point again (at least I hope so), it will not be the same. Saying goodbye is the worst part for me. Today, as I was driving home from work, I drove by the exit where I would get off to go to the theatre, and my stomach sank. Perhaps I am a bit sentimental (duh!). But really, I was so blessed to have the opportunity to meet wonderful people, new friends, and rekindle a passionate love affair w/ theatre.

Onto the real reason for the blog. Time to track the weight loss thus far. The past 3 weeks have played out like this:

Week 20: Gained .2 lbs. :(
Week 21: Lost 1.4 lbs.
Week 22: Lost 1.8 lbs. (Not real sure how... but was pretty pleased w/ that result this weekend!)

This has brought my total weight loss to 35 lbs. in 22 weeks! :) 50 lbs. is really in sight now! I can't believe it.

So, now I am looking at my newly-discovered free time and am wondering what I'm going to do w/ it. I know I am definitely going back to the gym. In fact, I wanted to go tonight, but I have felt completely out of it today (was so tired last night that I went to bed at 9:30. Woke up around 2:30. Went back to sleep around 3:30. Woke up to get up then at 6:45. Really jacked myself up!). I am looking forward to working out again.

This year has been one that I've dedicated to working on me. And as I'm nearing the half-way point of the year, I can definitely say that in the past 6 months, I have discovered a little more self-confidence, gotten involved in something I love, met some new friends, and perhaps most importantly, really smiled for the first time in years. 

Me at Christmas in Disney, prior to starting diet.

Me and some of my new favorites. I am in green. First time I've looked at a picture of myself and have seen a difference! I do enjoy my "grrr" face. :)

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Week #19 Weigh-In

Good afternoon everyone!

I sheepishly post this blog following last week's "I gained a pound, woah is me" rant. This week, I lost 3 lbs.! Nearly fell over when I saw that on the scale! This brings the total loss to 32 lbs. in just less than 5 months! It also solidified that I really DO gain weight during that time of the month, and that freaking out about it really just makes me feel like crap. It is part of my makeup as a woman, for better or worse, and one of those things that I need to just deal with.

Now that I've lost 32 lbs., the hubby has promised to take me shopping for some new clothes. Truthfully, I actually would rather HE go shopping. Kurt's lost 22 lbs. since the beginning of the year (yay hubby!), and he really has nothing that fits him anymore. I have clothes that I now fit into again, so the amount of shopping I really need to do has been decreased (not that I wouldn't jump on the opportunity to go shopping, but he really does need it more than I do...).

I wish I could say that this week has been off to a good start. However, 2 days of eating hot dogs and hamburgers has been like blech, and I'm definitely feeling it today. So, it's back to normal life, and eating well for the rest of the week. Hopefully, losing 3 lbs. wasn't a fluke and will continue the wonderful downward spiral this week, into the 5 month mark of this adventure.

Until next week.... stay thirsty my friends. ;)

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Week # 18 Weigh-In: My Own Worst Critic

Greetings All,

Amid another busy week, I find some time to blog. Last week, I gained 1 lb., bringing total weight loss back up to 29 lbs. This week, this pound has become an obsession. I found myself really pissed off about it, dwelling on it... what I did right, what I did wrong. In reality (and I KNOW this), my weight fluctuates towards the high side when Aunt Flo is visiting, and like clockwork, I gain 1 lb. and the good Aunt arrives. It's been this way for 5 months. But it doesn't matter. I have kicked my ass this week over this stupid pound.

It's not been easy. We are now in full gear getting ready for the show now w/ practices every night of the week, which means I don't go home between work and rehearsal. Which means dinner is what I can scrounge up or can go get. I have gone out of my way to eat decently while I'm eating out, but it's still been difficult. I get home around 9:30 - 10:00, visit w/ the hubby for a minute, and then go to bed. Repeat.

Yes, the days have been hella-long. Yes, I am tired as hell. Yes, I miss my husband and my house needs cleaned. But the truth is, I am absolutely LOVING doing the show. I've met some really great people. I am having fun. I feel more alive than I have in a looooooooong time. I forgot how much I love theatre; the feeling of being on stage in front of people, the feeling of a stage under your feet, the way a theatre smells, the people that you meet... things I have missed for a long, long time. I feel like I'm finding me again.

And yet, I am torn between the high of the adrenalin of theatre and beating myself up over gaining a pound. Do I need to re-assess my priorities? Do I have to be so focused on losing weight that I cannot do things I love? Do I need to be getting my ass out of bed at 5:30 to work out prior to working 13 hour days? How can you do everything you want to do - everything you need to do? Balance in life has never exactly been a strong suit of mine. I like being busy - or perhaps the better word is consumed - by things that are not the mundane, everyday tasks. Anyone who knows me well knows that I do not half-ass anything. I'm all or nothing.

So, I try to do better this week, which I think I have. I remain my own worst critic. Because if I'm not, I'll lose my will. And no one else will do it for me. Hopefully, I will feel better about myself next week. In the meantime, I continue to fight. I love life. I work hard. I kick my own ass. I remain conflicted and unbalanced.

.... until next time... 

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Week #17 Weigh-In

Hello All,

Hooray. I hit a milestone this past week! I lost 1.8 lbs., bringing my total loss to 30 lbs.!!!! 2 more pounds and the hubby is taking me shopping (I'm sure he's forgotten this promise by now... but this your little reminder, honey....).

I was really pleased w/ the results from the past week. I really did eat pretty well, at least until the weekend got here. This week, however, hasn't been as successful. I've had play practice nearly every night this week (except tomorrow... can't wait for a day off!), so it's involved eating when and where I can. I guess I'll find out when I go to weigh myself this weekend.

Work and life has also been busy. I like my life in a state of naturally-occuring busy, but lately, it's been like, WTF-kinda busy, added in w/ sleeping poorly and little exercise. I actually am missing it. I wish there were more hours in the day....

But, I'm making progress and moving along, and that's what matters. :)

Monday, May 9, 2011

Weigh-In: Week #16

Hello All...

So it has been 4 months since I've been tracking my weight loss. Time flies when you're having fun... ha ha!

This was not a spectacular week, for no other reason other than laziness on my part. I did not eat like I should, and for that, I gained .4 lbs. So, I'm still at a loss of 27 lbs., over 10 lbs. my initial goal, but I am still irritated about the gain. Just means I'm working hard this week....

Not that exercising is happening much. Have play practice every night this week. So I'm going to have to kick my ass w/ food, and hope that next week, my practice schedule allows me to go to the gym. I miss it. Especially w/ the weather nice, I really wanna hop in a pool! :)

Talk to y'all soon! :)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Weigh-Ins # 13, 14, 15

I have been a terrible blogger. It's been 3 weeks or so since I've had a chance to blog about my weight loss. Things have been sooooooooo hectic and the best word to describe things lately has been distracted. I spent most of last week in jury duty, which was interesting, but kept me away from work when I really needed to be there. So I'm super behind there. My car is on a slow death march, so I've been car shopping. I've had play practices and we're remodeling a room in our house which is like super-consuming... so w/ all of that, blogging has taken a back seat. Dieting, however, has not. Working out has been nearly impossible though. There's just not enough hours in a day to do everything you want to do. :(

So, week #13, I lost .6 lbs. Week # 14, I lost 1.6 lbs. Week # 15 I lost 1.6 lbs. That's a 3 week total of 3.8 lbs. and a total loss of 28 lbs. I am really happy to be so close to 30 lbs. lost! :)

I was trying some clothes on yesterday w/ a girl friend, and I am proud to say that woman's clothes are too big on me now!!!! That felt really good. Granted, I'm sure I'm going to be shopping at Lane Bryant and the Avenue for a while... but the fact that 1X and 2X things are big is wonderful!

I also went crazy and bought a bathing suit that I really want to look nice in by the end of the summer! It's really adorable and looks like a 50's pin-up girl bathing suit - black w/ white polka-dots, a little skirt, low cut. Very cute. Not that I have a reason to wear a bathing suit, aside from water aerobics, but it's a goal. It fit when I tried it on yesterday, but not as well as I would hope. To be fair, I hate trying on bathing suits w/ underwear on and I was very full from dinner.... but it's a nice goal to have. :)

So that's where I'm at. Again, my apologies for not writing sooner. I'll keep in touch a little better. :)


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Weigh-in #12

Hello Readers,

My many apologies for the tardiness of this post. My husband scolded me yesterday for not blogging yet this week (which was good... he keeps me honest!) w/ my latest weigh in, so here I am, better late than never...

This week has been absolutely crazy! It is the week of the office move, which means the amount of time I've been able to sit at my computer during work (shhh... don't tell...) and blog has been significantly reduced. After today, I won't even have access to my computer b/c tomorrow is our official move date. On top of which, I had an audition for another play Monday night, which I will discuss more in-depth here shortly. Yesterday, I had to go to a local town meeting, and spent all day helping our warehouse lady finish her packing, which was gruelling, intense work.... no need for a work out yesterday... I thoroughly kicked my own ass from all the packing, heavy lifting, etc.

Now for the weigh-in... this is a milestone in this adventure. It's been 3 months since I've been weighing myself and in that time, I have now officially lost 25 lbs! :) I lost 1.8 lbs last week alone, which was shocking b/c I actually never worked out. Then again, I have had anything but a "normal" office job over the past 2 weeks... most of my time is spent on my feet, running around, packing. So it breaks up the whole sitting on my butt in front of a computer typical kind of day for me. :) I am also now at my halfway point for the year for weight I've wanted to lose, which is also fairly awesome! I am definitely proud of this accomplishment and the hard work thus far!

As I mentioned earlier, I auditioned for a show this week. It is an adaptation of Alexandre Dumas' "La Dame aux Camilias" (or The Lady of the Camellias, if your French is a little week) aptly titled "Camille." If you have ever seen Moulin Rouge, the screenplay is a loose translation of the same story. The adaptation was written by the gentleman who will also be directing it, so it was interesting auditioning for someone who already knew what he wanted the show to feel/sound/look like. Some of the roles had already been casted, so I was not really expecting anything. However, I got a phone call yesterday and was offered a role! :) I will be playing Nichette, a respectable (read: not a whore!) girl and an old, dear friend of the main character. A small, supporting role, but a start... a foot in the door of the local theatre community, which is really all I wanted. I am thrilled and excited, and the first rehearsal is tomorrow (did I ever mention I am also a bit of a masochist...???). Whew!

So that's this week in a nut shell.... I'm tired just re-reading all of that... ugh! But yay for good news all around!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Weigh-In #11

Hi Everyone,

Well, at this point, I was supposed to be down 25 lbs. (at least according to my short-term goal). However, 2 weekends in a row of being away from home and doing things that are "out of the ordinary" put a bit of a hamper on it. Last week, I gained 1.4 lbs. This week, I am glad to report that I lost 1.2 lbs! So I lost nearly everything I gained the previous week. However, I miss this particular goal... I am down 23 lbs. total. But I am still not complaining. I'm double where I expected to be at this time, so YAY!

I did pretty well on eating good and exercising this past week. Went to the gym, exercised at home... could have done more, but I did better than I have been doing. This weekend, however, I went to Columbus for a weekend visit w/ the in-laws (the hubby and I along w/ the ma and pa-in-law went to visit my brother and soon to be sister-in-law!). Had a wonderful time visiting, catching up, talking wedding stuff, etc. And for the most part, my food options were pretty good. Stopping for ice cream was really difficult. Apparently, Columbus has this really terrific gourmet ice cream place called Jeni's. They have all sorts of kinda-funky flavors of ice cream and they are going to have an ice cream station type thing instead of a cake at the wedding, so we wanted to check it out. You can sample at this place all the different ice creams and they are fabulous... but instead of getting what I really wanted, which would have been a salty-sweet caramel ice cream, I ended up getting a kid's portion of Cardamom-Lime Frozen Yogurt. It was tasty, don't get me wrong. But I was actually half-impressed w/ my self-control.... :)

P.S. Kasey and Betsy, if you're reading this, I had a wonderful time and appreciate your hospitality in your new, beautiful house! Also appreciate the use of your bar and consuming a good amount of your wine and your Bailey's.... ;) I hope we can do it again sometime....

This week, I am looking forward to some normal-life kind of stuff. Staying at home this weekend. Catching up on some cleaning and other stuff.... next week, my office is moving, so I'm planning on trying on keeping home life normal when work life turns to chaos!

I also have a new goal - when I lose 9 more lbs. (which will bring me to an even number w/ regards to my weight), I am allowed to get some new clothes, given that I can hardly keep my pants on my ass anymore. I don't have a time frame to get it done, necessarily, although I'm hoping for w/in the next month or 6 weeks... b/c I really do want some new clothes. So that's what I'm looking forward to. :)

Talk to everyone later. :)

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Weigh-in #10

Greetings Readers,

Another quick blog as I'm jotting this down during my lunch break @ work. Last week was not as good to me as I hoped. Not for lack of trying... believe me. I tried. But alas, I gained 1.4 lbs. this week. However, I never had a chance to work out, ate catered dinners twice, pizza and subs twice, and generally was in situations where I had little choice in the food I was eating, but was STARVING when it was time to eat. So I'm sure my portions weren't great either. I was also drinking quite a bit.... which doesn't help. And to make matters worse, my boss came in for a visit yesterday and brought lunch w/ her and she always brings great, delicious things w/ her. We had salads and wraps (not too bad), I avoided the small bags of chips, but the cookies and freshly-baked rolls, however, were unavoidable.... :( It's very easy to eat like a fat kid.... boo!

Anyways, I went to the gym last night - had a great water aerobics work out, and am working like hell to detox myself.... again....

What is nice, however, is that people are starting to notice. At a meeting I was at Thursday, someone asked if I had lost weight, and he was very complimentary, which was nice. Makes you feel good when others notice your hard work. :)

Like anything in life, you fall down and you dust yourself off and try again. Here's to a better week. :)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Weigh In #9

Hello Everyone,

This is one of those posts that's going to be short and late. Sorry to disappoint... ;) Been a busy week. Going to a Model UN conference this week/weekend to volunteer some time... it's good for the soul. :) But in the meantime, there's work stuff I've needed to get done beforehand which was hugely pressing. Working out this week has been not good. Was involved in a car accident this weekend (nothing serious... I was not driving... my friend and I are ok, those involved are ok, and her car is ok... all that matters!), and Sunday and Monday, I was pretty sore. Not to mention we have a new water aerobics instructor (or, apparently, the original one returned... however you want to look at it...) who runs it like water aerobics boot camp. It was different, but in a good way when I went last Wednesday. Different muscles working.

Anyways, as for the weigh-in, last week I lost 1.6 lbs! This brings my total loss to 23 lbs!! :)

I have a very short-term goal for now... I would like to get down to 25 lbs. lost in 2 more weigh ins... so when I'm posting weigh-in # 11, I should be half-way to my goal for the year!! That to me is crazy! But I'm very excited and very motivated and planning to do the best I can while at conference. I bought to-go smoothies for breakfast and some manderin oranges (I love those little Cuties oranges that come in a box!) and will carry around a trusty can of almonds for snacking. A few meals are provided, which I'll have to watch out for, but I think w/ moderation and a healthy lunch, I should do ok. :)

Here's til next time. :)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Weigh-In #8

Hello Friends,

Well, it's been 2 months since I've started weighing in... I've been pleased with a steady loss... some weeks have been better than others, but such is life.

As for this past week, I have started taking alli. I have been on it one week as of today and as of today, I am no longer taking it. The, ahem, bathroom issues it has caused have been atrocious and have been unbearable for the past 2 days. While I believe it has helped, which I will discuss more about here shortly, it is not worth dealing w/ the bathroom issues and feeling like crap that goes along with it. I was fairly pleased with my progress doing it the natural, old fashioned, albeit hard way. So it's a good decision for me, I believe. Was definitely worth a try and I wouldn't NOT recommend it. It definitely works. But if you have anything less than a strong stomach and a normal.... um... GI system, I would use caution.

And now that we're all entirely uncomfortable talking about pooping, let's move on to the weigh-in. Last week, I lost 3.6 lbs! I was entirely shocked. I figured I would have been down 1lbs. This brings my total weight loss in 2 months to 22 lbs! I am very proud of myself... not to toot my own horn too much. :)

I am also FINALLY starting to notice some changes. Last night, I happened to stroll by my closet (which has full-length mirrored doors) after getting out of the shower, and was like, wow... my legs look like, well, legs. I have always always always had thick legs. No matter what I've done... I've had big thighs and calves. It's where I have always carried my weight (I've gotten more top-heavy as I've gotten older...). However, as I got fat, they were kind of blobby and gross looking. Now, while they sure aren't getting my in a Nair commercial anytime soon, they definitely look more defined and nicer. That's a good start!

Along w/ thinking that my legs are looking a bit better, I've also noticed that I have knees again! When I sit, I can actually see the shape and definition of a knee sticking out of my pants. Previously, they kind of looked like cankles. Like, there's thigh and calf and a blob in between. I know it sounds silly... my husband got a chuckle out of it when I showed off my knees... but little things make me happy. My jeans are starting to get too big, too. Like, to the point of rediculousness. Which is kind of nice, but I definitely prefer pants that fit... kind of sick of all my pants looking like MC Hammer pants.

Stop. Hammer Time.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Weigh-in #7

Hello Friends,

I do apologize for the tardiness of this weigh in. Work has been crazy... hell, life has been crazy. But there is much to update on....

Over the past 2 weeks, I've been struggling to see results. In reaffirming my committment to this lifestyle, I worked out consistantly and ate well, and ended up losing 2.4 lbs last week! I was tickled! This has brough my weight loss total to 17 lbs. in nearly 2 months! :)

I went to the doctor's last Thursday because the prescription I take needed a refill and I thought it would be good to share my results with my doctor and see what my weight was the last time I went to see him (which, as it turns out, was in September of last year). I was only 1 lb. heavier than when I first weight myself back in January. I found that to be a little odd. I would have thought I would have lost more weight in the first 2 weeks of the diet than just 1 lb. But then again, there were a few "wild card" moments between September and January which could have affected my weight gain/loss. My birthday is in November, and I was definitely eating well that week... and by well, I mean enjoying food that I'm sure was terrible for me, followed closely by Thanksgiving! The week before Christmas, I went to Disneyworld w/ my family. Despite being on vacation, I really didn't think I ate terribly and the walking around definitely burned calories. But then there's Christmas.... and I ate EVERYTHING I could between Christmas and New Years b/c I knew I would be starting this lifestyle change (I made the decision to do it while in Disneyworld b/c my family is a bunch of power-walkers and I could hardly keep up and was embarassed by it. Also had a wonderful conversation w/ my step-mom who was very influential in this decision.). Anyways, long story short, I can officially say that I have lost a total of 18lbs. since the beginning of the year. Double yay! :)

My doctor was very pleased w/ my dieting results thus far. He could see I was losing weight and was impressed w/ my motivation. He gave me a trial sample of alli, which is a weight loss aid pill that blocks the fat, and for every 5lbs. you lose through diet and exercise, alli will help you lose an additional 2-3 lbs. depending on your level of diet and exercise. He said he had heard good things about it and that I should give it a shot. I started it yesterday. You take a pill w/ each meal. So far, so good. Makes my stomach feel a little funky, but that's part of the side effects... which really just effect your, um... potty habits. So we'll see how that goes. I also really like the website for alli... there are a lot of good tips, menu items, a community of alli takers so you have people to talk to, which is kind of nice. So, I feel pretty good about it.

As for this week, I must say my execising routine has been poor. I didn't get to go to the gym Monday b/c we had a flooded basement, no hot water, and needed to get some things done around the house b/c of all those issues and pick up some groceries. I can't go to the gym tonight b/c I have to get an oil change before my husband steals my car and drives to Nashville for work. I am really going to push myself to work out at home tonight. However, my mood has not been conducive for working out. I've been particularly somber over the past few days for no real reason. I don't know if some of the things going on at work are coming home with me, or if it's because I have changed how often I am taking my prescription I mentioned earlier... but it's been a rough couple of days. My eating habits are fine. Just exercising has been off this week. Need to find a way out of my particular funk...

So, that's been my past week or 2. Thanks for being patient... I will do better w/ blog posts....

Later gator!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Weigh-in #6

Greetings Everyone,

I have officially embarked on this adventure now for nearly 2 full months and have been weighing myself for 6 weeks. At this point, it's definitely worth looking at some of my successes and lack thereof.

This week's weigh in, I lost .5 lbs. Still disappointing b/c I've spent 2 weeks now where I have not met my goal of 1 lb. a week. This brings my total to 15 lbs. in 6 weeks. And this is where in the past other diets have stopped. Mostly, I would do them for about 6 weeks and then give up. Perhaps this is why I feel I'm hitting a wall of un-motivation. For example, yesterday my husband and I fully intended to use shovelling our driveway (we have a pretty good sized driveway. Both of us shovelling it would take us an hour) as our exercise. We got up when we said we would (roughly), ate an appropriate breakfast for doing a physical activity like that, and decided that we would let the weather warm up a bit and shovel in the afternoon. So, as also intended, we ran to a furniture store and came back home, and somewhere in the middle decided to go up to the wineries that are about an hour north of us. So, no shovelling. I ate well despite being out and about. The worst thing I had was a few slices of a baguette (which was totally necessary to absorb some of the wine I was drinking)... and of course, consuming several glasses of wine...

Today, we fully intended to shovel the driveway... again. Got up at a good time, ate breakfast, and then the hubby got sick. Obviously, a sick hubby wasn't shovelling the driveway and while I am not against doing it myself, I tended to him. Ran some errands, got him what he needed to feel better... no shovelling. Ended up doing a late dinner b/c the NASCAR race was on... and now I'm here at nearly 9:30 in the evening... no exercise for the weekend... no shovelling, no using the Kinect. Nothing.

I am disappointed in myself. I am disappointed that our society makes it sooooo much easier to be a fat kid in life than being healthy. But I cannot change society, only myself. I was so motivated by the losses of earlier that these minimal losses are really kind of discouraging. But it's my fault. If I'm not working out like I should or monitoring as closely what I am eating, then I'm not going to live up to my goals. I am proud of what I accomplished thus far, but there is still much work to be done. Here's to another week to get it right again....

Monday, February 21, 2011

Weigh-In #5

Greetings All,

Enter weigh-in number 5. Not the greatest week ever. I have lost .2 lbs. Not 2 pounds, .2 lbs. A quarter of a pound. *sigh* I am not proud of this at all. I know I've exceeded my goals thus far, but what gets to me is that I am better than that. I did not exercise once last week. I can blame it on the fact that I had to do my taxes, which takes several days, but I'm sick of excuses.

The lifestyle change I have embarked in has to be priority #1. Always. Without excuses. So I'm working on re-making this #1. Thus far I have done pretty good today. Went back to the gym and did water aerobics tonight. Ate fairly well.

So, while I am not happy about this week, it's sure as hell not going to break me either.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Weigh-In #4

Hi Everyone,

So it has now been a month of weigh-ins once a week. Here's today's weigh-in:

In 1 week, I lost 3 lbs., for a total of 14 lbs. in 4 weeks! :)

I was very happy to see this result, because it is a lot more than I expected it to be. This week has been hard for eating good and getting in a good work out. The auditions, as well as a more hectic-than-normal work schedule sort of threw any sort of "normal eating habit" into disarray. Not that I didn't eat well, but not as well as I should have. So I am fairly impressed.

I've noticed that pants are starting to get big on me, and people are starting to notice. Some of my co-workers at our other office mentioned that I look a bit thinner, and the hubby has noticed it too.

In semi-un-related news, I did not get the role I soo wanted (for more information, read my last post). Not going to lie, I am a bit bummed about it. However, to sit here and say that the girl who got the part did not deserve it or I think I would've done better, blah blah blah, is being a sore loser, and while I might be many things, that I am not. I am ok about it, really. Truth be told, the show would have come at a really bad time w/ regards to work and other commitments, so really, NOT doing the show makes my life a bit easier. It also makes it easier to staying committed to this lifestyle change I have been working so hard at. So I'm bummed, not bitter.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Weigh In #3

Good evening, and my apologies for not posting this sooner. :(

Ok, week 5 is in the books, and my 3rd weigh-in is.......

Loss of 3 pounds, for a total of 11 lbs. in 3 weeks! Yay!!!!

Still not noticing my clothes fitting different, which is kind of a bummer. Some of my pants are more comfortable, but not like, loose or big. The only pants I've noticed that are a bit bigger are my workout pants I just bought, but I think it's more because I stretched them out. LOL.

Had a very successful, yet ass-kicking workout w/ the Your Shape program tonight. Burned 378 calories tonight in 45 minutes. Now I'm pretty whooped and looking forward to just heading upstairs, showering, and going to bed.

In other news, I auditioned for a show tonight that I have been looking forward to very much, and got a callback for Thursday for the female lead!! I couldn't be more excited, especially since the last time I was in a show I was in high school, and being casted as a major character didn't happen much... except once. I was the "bad guy" in a murder mystery dinner theatre in HS. It was probably the most fun I had in a role.

The show is called "Fat Pig" by Neil LaBute. The premise is that a "normal" guy falls for an attractive, witty, plus sized girl and the hell normal guy gets from his friends, an obnoxious, narcissitic jackass of a guy and an ex girlfriend who wants more to their relationship. Eventually, he has to come to terms w/ how he feels about the relationship as well as his own preconceived notions. I'm in the running for the attractive and witty plus sized girl (I suppose that's kind of obvious... though not real sure about the attractive and witty part... LOL).  In researching the show, it's definitely one that takes on a lot of the stereotypes people have about heavy people, and it's a bit controversial. There's a good amount of cursing and dealing w/ some taboo topics, as well as some really not-so-nice names about plus sized people tossed around. I look at it as something much more than just a role... it's kind of my life. I've dealt with that kind of stuff in my past, and being that I've been a big girl since I was young, it gives me an opportunity to face and come to terms w/ some of the terrible things that I've been called or experienced.

In going through this change in my life, I have had to face some hard truths about things and who and what I am. I tended to imagine myself thinner than what I was and the truth is, despite hating it, getting on the scale and looking at the number on it was liberating. It's me saying, I accept this for what it is. And it will not be that way forever. That's the important thing. Perhaps true change cannot come w/o a little bit of acceptance of what and why you're changing. Also, I have a lot  more confidence since starting this out. Not because I'm looking fabulous or anything, but more like inner confidence or inner strength. Sharing this journey was something that I wasn't sure if I could or should, but I am sooooooo glad I did. I'm proud of myself thus far. I'm owning up to myself and making myself vulnerable, but it's the most awesome and wonderful thing I've done in a looooooooooooong-ass time! :)

Monday, January 31, 2011

Weigh-in #2

Time for the weekly weigh in...

This past week, I lost 2.2 lbs. Not a huge amount (5.6 lbs. sure sounded a lot more exciting...), but still on track.

I think there are 2 reasons for this number:

1. I definitely didn't exercise as much as I should have last week (only did it twice), which you can read all about in my previous post.

2. Without going into the gory details, I really believe that a woman's menstrual cycle can play a part in weight gain/loss. I don't know if it has been b/c I've changed how I eat and work out over the past month, but Aunt Flo came about 10 days early. Definitely kind of shocked about that, but it explains some of my increased moodiness...

So, in 2 weeks, I have lost 7.8 lbs. I wish I knew what that was for the month, but I'll take what I can get. :)

The worst part was I felt bad about only losing 2 pounds this weekend. I know I shouldn't. I exceeded my goal. I LOST weight. There wasn't anything to feel bad about. I just know to work a little harder this week. But still...

I am going to keep this post short. Work has been crazy-busy today, and my only refuge has been that the main website we work in went down, and the phones have stopped ringing long enough to type this. And I'm starving and need to eat lunch. Did not have time for breakfast this morning. *Bad me* But was able to munch on some almonds as I wrote this post.

Onward and downward, friends. :)

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Day 24: The Hardest Thing

... aside from missing pizza and chocolate... is exercising.

I knew it would be. I hate exercising. There's really no getting around it. I don't know if it's because I haven't found an exercise-type thing that I love, or whatever. The eating healthy thing doesn't bother me nearly as much as being like "ugh... I got to work out..." Granted, it's cold and snowy and being outside doing something might help... but since I'm several month away from that happening (Gotta love Ohio!), I have to figure out what to do in the meantime.

In my younger days, "exercise" consisted of dance classes, baton classes, being on flagline in high school, being on the dance team... stuff like that. The older I got, the less physically active I got (which I think happens for everyone). Now I am confined to a desk job, and the extent of walking I do is to get our mail, or go to the bathroom. Good times.

Thus far, I've tried Zumba (which I like, but being that my ass was entirely kicked, I think I am going to try it again when I'm in a little better shape), water aerobics (which is fun, but I could totally see how it could get boring after a while), using the Your Shape on the Kinect (I like the cardio-boxing on there) and my Dance Central game is fun, albeit not a huge calorie killer.

Also, one of my other problems is hours in a day. Next week, there are 2 plays I'm auditioning for at local theatres here in the Youngstown area. One of my other promises to myself that I made towards the end of last year was to find something I love to do. I have always loved theatre and acting and singing and I miss it terribly. I miss theatre-type people (and if you are one, you totally know what I'm talking about...). I want to give that a shot as well. However, I know that if I were to get casted in a show, they are very time consuming w/ rehearsals and what not. That will definitely start to conflict w/ working out. I know it's all about prioritizing, but I know I need something like that to do that will serve as an outlet as much as I need to do the healthy thing.

I guess I put this all out there looking to see if anyone has any suggestions for exercise they like to do. Here's some suggestions to help:

1. No boot camp/drill sergeant type things.
2. Keep in mind, I live in Ohio... I am limited to indoor activies for about 1/2 the year (little bit of an exaggeration... but not much...)

Today's Grub List:

Breakfast: 2 cups of coffee and oatmeal

Lunch: 3 garlic chicken spring rolls from Lean Cuisine (and they are AMAZING!), a diet coke, and a yogurt,strawberry, and granola parfait from Panera Bread (my favorites!!!). After which, I was quite full. Full enough to not need to eat an afternoon snack.

Dinner: Found a recipe in my Abs Diet book for a homemade pesto w/ almonds (called for walnuts... only had almonds... improvised!!), spinach, garlic, a little olive oil, basil, salt, and pepper w/ Barilla Plus penne pasta (best wheat-y pasta!) and a grilled chicken breast w/ some mozzerella cheese (didn't have the low-fat kind. Sad.). It was delicious! Kurt found it to be a little dry, but added a bit more olive oil and it was better for him.

Not sure what I'm having for my post-workout snack. Haven't gotten that far. Did my Dance Central game.

Until next time (which will probably be me posting my next weight check in)... have a good rest of the week, friends. :)

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Weigh-In #1

Hello Friends,

As I sit here sort-of watching the Steelers-Jets game (go Jets... anyone is better than Pittsburgh!), I should share with you my first weigh-in.

I actually weighed myself yesterday morning... approximately the same time as I did last week. And the result was (drum roll please).........................

I've lost 5.6 pounds! :)

That's a heck of a week... I just wish I could see the 5.6 pound loss.... *sigh* But really, I am pleased with my results. My goal was 1 pound a week.

Otherwise, I really have no new news to report. It was a terrible stressful end of the week at work. Friday was my cheat day and I really wanted pizza. So we went to Pizza Hut. Had wings and pizza and it was delicious!!!! I think this week's cheat meal is going to involve some kind of dessert.... I want me some chocolate!

Also, I discovered that TGI Friday's is not the best place for low-fat food. I would much rather go there and get what I want than stick to their fairly limited healthy selections.

Today's nom-nom tracker:

Breakfast: Bowl of bran flakes with skim milk and a banana
Lunch: Panera Bread... had 1/2 a tuna fish sandwich on wheat and 1/2 a Thai Chicken Salad w/ a whole-grain baguette. All of which were good and the entire meal was under 500 calories (Panera is listing their calorie count on their menus... yay!). The salad, however, was very kicky and spicy, and while it was good, I don't know if that is something I would get again...
Dinner: The Abs Diet Book had a recipe for a chicken quesadilla. I made it as the recipe called, but added tomatoes and some spices. Both Kurt and I really enjoyed it.
Snack: Will probably have some popcorn tonight.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Day 16: Coming to Terms With "The Number"

Greetings All,

I wanted to write about a really big step I took over the weekend (sort of forced to by my husband). I learned what my weight was for the first time in well over ten years!

I have been petrified of this number. As if knowing the number would somehow change how I viewed myself and who I am as a person. The only reason I found out what it was way back when was right before I went to college, I had to get a physical. Out of sheer curiousity, I peeked at the weight number. I said "eek!" And never looked at it again til now. When I would be forced to step on a scale at a doctor's office, I would shut my eyes and ask the nurse not to tell me what it said.

Kurt, who has been working equally as hard on the whole diet and exercise adventure with me (much to my surprise and joy!), decided that he wanted to know his weight and decided to buy a scale Saturday. My response was "that's nice." He even bought a nice scale - one that will track 2 people's weights and store them and everything. Still, I had absolutely zero desire to put my ass on that thing. Mind you, he's weighing himself nearly 2 weeks into this adventure, and perhaps he had already lost weight (his biggest thing has been no more Pepsi consumption. He's been without it as long as I've been blogging. So yay him!). Then, after a long conversation, Kurt convinced me to get on the damn scale....

In all honesty, I had an idea about how much I weighed. I figured how much I though I gained my freshman year of college (Hell w/ the freshman 15... I think I put on the frosh 30!!), got to a certain size, and stayed there pretty much all through college. Lost a size before going to grad school. Then, went up 2 sizes during grad school. Lost a size prior to getting married. Put it back on and then some. I know I'm the biggest I've ever been at this point, but my weight has been determined by my pant size... which as a girl, is stupid. Let's be honest, women's sizes are re-donk-u-lous. What should be a size 10 should be the same in every store - not an 8 here, a 10 there, and a 14 over there.... So, I had an idea of what I though the scale would say. I was wrong.

I stood on the scale w/ Kurt in the bathroom w/ me. He said he would be the only one who would know my weight and would not tell me. Only if I'm gaining or losing. After a moment of torture and setting up all the settings and what not, he asked if I would like to know what it said. Of course, I said no. Then, that annoying curiousity crept up... so I asked him if my weight was what I thought it was. He said no. I sighed. Up or down? Up. Shit. He told me I really should know, and I gave in. He told me. I started crying.

I am not blessing you, my friends, with this number. Maybe someday when I become a skinny bitch and am sharing my triumphs, I will. In the meantime, I think it's better to post what I'm gaining and losing per week than being like "OMG... these people know what I weigh! They're going to judge me! Ugh!" I am coming to terms w/ the dreaded weight number. It is what it is. And it is only a number. Am I pissed I let myself go like this? Hell yeah. But I'm doing something about it, and THAT'S what matters.

In other interesting news, I am proud to say I am through the detox phase of the new life! Yay. Went to McDonald's on Saturday morning (after buying that damn scale!) and ordered a medium sugar-free vanilla iced coffee. Apparently, they didn't catch the sugar-free part. I took a sip and nearly gagged. I could not believe how sickeningly sweet that drink was. It was gross, and I was fairly shocked that I had drank that shit in the first place. It was not good in the least (now, if they had messed up and made me a mocha, I might be singing a different song...). So that was good to know! :)

Also on Saturday, we went to Olive Garden w/ some friends for dinner. I was saving my weekly cheat meal for Saturday night, and had been looking forward to it. Once we got there and I got a menu, I actually really would have been fine eating salad and minestrone soup and not cheating. However, since I was there and had been saving up for that meal, I ordered tortellini in a rich sauce w/ sauteed chicken. And since it's Olive Garden, had a few breadsticks and salad and an apple martini. I ate all the tortellini, about 1/2 of one piece of chicken (w/o the sauce, I could bring the chicken home and eat it for another meal). And I regretted doing that ever since. My stomach was so out of whack until this morning. And it was the first time I had a tummy ache in 2 weeks. I was relatively pissed at myself. Eating right involved thinking about it. I now watch everything I put in my mouth. And that night, I ate like my old self... w/o thinking about it. And it sucked. So I'm learning to keep my cheat meals in perspective... I am NOT the old Brittiani. I don't WANT to be the old me. And am proud to embrace the new.

On another note, I bought Dance Central for the X-box Kinect. I LOVE it! Great music, fun routines, and it has a workout mode. It's a whole lot of fun and I HIGHLY recommend it!

Here's today's list of nom-noms:

Breakfast: Peach smoothie and a cup of coffee w/ 2 Extra's and some Coffeemate
Lunch: Peanut butter sandwich on whole grain bread, yogurt w/ some dried cranberries and sunflower seeds, a Diet Coke
Mid-Afternoon Snack: A handful of almonds
Dinner: A recipe from the Abs Diet Book for lean steak cooked w/ garlic, raspberries, and red wine. I really enjoyed it. Kurt was on the fence. We also had a salad and some steamed brown and wild rice with peas and carrots and corn in it. I love those Green Giant Steamer veggies!!! And I am still quite full from dinner, so I will probably skip the evening snack.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Day 11: Break on Through to the Other Side

Hello Readers:

Been meaning to write all week, but have been very busy with work and other life stuff. The beginning of this week has been a struggle. As I completed the first full week of my new life, I ended it feeling not as peppy as I expected. Monday, I took a Zumba class for the first time. And it kicked my ass! First off, it was WAAYY more intense than the other workouts I've been doing at home. I thought I would have liked it more than I did, given my background in dance and such. Believe me, it's not that I didn't like it. I did. It was just an ass-whooping! And I was completely drained Monday after it. Tuesday, I was expecting to be sore as hell. I was not, surprisingly. But instead, I was entirely exhausted. I think a lot of it was that I did not consume enough calories on Monday to make up for what I burned off in Zumba. *Note to self: Eat well on days I do Zumba... live and learn, I guess* So I spent Tuesday soooo tired, grumpy, and feeling generally crappy. Not to mention, b/c of things w/ work and life, I was very stressed. So it was a bad day. :(

Yesterday, I felt a little better. Still stressed about things, but better. However, I felt the best all day after I worked out at 9:00. I didn't even do that much... just some cardio boxing classes on the Your Shape for Kinect and a few gym games to cool down, but afterwards I felt perkier than I had in days. Today, I feel great, actually. I've had a lot of energy today and feel pretty good about things... maybe I've had my break-through of all the hard stuff and can move on. :)

Things I've learned over the past week:

- Cracker Barrell = not the best place to go on a diet. Carb City there!!!! I had 1 biscuit (a significant cut down from the number of biscuits I usually eat there...), and it felt like a rock hitting my stomach.

- I like Applebee's low-fat menu. Had a fajita there last week which was delicious. This week, we went to finish off our gift card, and tried their under 550 calories menu. I had a 7 oz. steak with shrimp and a light creamy sauce, with a bruschetta topping, a few roasted potato slices, and a broccoli. It was wonderful. I was also quiet full when all was said and done.

- Since I've started all of this, I haven't noticed that I've lost any weight yet (unfortunately...), but I've noticed I feel better. I had stomach aches frequently, and other tummy issues more often than not. Since I've started eating well and exercising, I haven't had a stomach ache at all (aside from being hungry... LOL). So there's definitely been some physiological changes going on inside... which I'm sure needs to happen before the outside changes.

Yesterday's Menu:
Breakfast: A smoothie (which I looove!) with strawberries, banana, peaches, and raspberries, low-fat vanilla yogury, 1 cup of cranberry juice (b/c I didn't have any milk), and a few ice cubes. Was really swamped at work, and did not eat my morning snack until 11:45 (bad me!), and I had an apple.

Lunch: Leftovers from Tuesday - 1 medium chicken breast cooked with olive oil, Italian seasonings, garlic, and lemon, and 1/2 cup of rice, and a handful of almonds.

Mid-afternoon snack: 1 small clementine

Dinner: Applebee's... see above...

Evening snack: A few spoonfuls of vanilla yogurt while I was prepping my smoothie ingredients for today since I was still full from dinner.

I'm hoping the good ju-ju will continue, and that I'm through the worst of the cravings and moodiness.

Til next time... :)

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Day 4 - Urges

Greetings Everyone!

I meant to write a post last night, but never got around to it. Still going strong, and am so grateful for the support of my family and friends on this endeavor. I've always said I've been blessed w/ the best friends and family in the world, and I truly mean it! :)

Anyways, on to the fun stuff...

Yesterday was mildly frustrating. I thought this would be easier. It was the last time I tried to lose weight. Or at least it felt that way. But as my hubby pointed out, it was 2005 when I tried to lose weight the last time. I was 23, working as a waitress and a part-time busser (I had great arm muscles after that summer!!). Now, I'm 6 years older w/ a desk job that keeps me fairly sedentary, except for a brief walk to get mail.

Yesterday's food adventures:

Breakfast - A New Zealander Smoothie, which consists of a kiwi, strawberries, 2 tbsp of fat free vanilla yogurt, a cup of milk, and some ice cubes. I found, however, that there's something about a blended-up kiwi that was making my lips burn. I don't know if it was the acid in the kiwi or what, but I don't know if I'll be eating a kiwi that way again... I also had a cup of tea, no sugar.

Midmorning snack - Almonds

Lunch - Lean Cuisine Beef tips w/ a burgandy wine sauce (which again was pretty tasty.... going 2 for 2 on the yummy Lean Cuisines... good start!) and brocolli, diet coke, grapes and a few sunflower seeds.

And then, the craving for chocolate set in... and yesterday was very difficult to walk by the candy jar and not snag a little piece of chocolate.

Mid-afternoon snack - One medium apple and a bottle of water

Dinner was really hard! We decided to go to Applebee's b/c we had some gift cards to burn. And every table around me was eating something terrible, and it took all my will power to not dive head first into someone else's plate of nachos. The skinny girls in the table next to us had several cocktails and ate onion rings, fries, and a hot fudge sundae... bitches! LOL

I, however, stayed strong. I ordered a steak and shrimp fajita (came with grilled peppers and onion, lettuce, pico de gallo, tortillas, and a little bit of cheese) with a side of rice, of which I only ate half. I brought the rest home for lunch today (which I am so psyched about!!!!), and I drank a diet coke and a glass of water. The fajita was delicious and spicy and definitely took care of my craving for Mexican type food.

Once I got home and let my food settle, I worked out again on the Your Shape program for the Kinect. I did some cardio-boxing, which I really enjoyed (even if Kurt was kind of laughing at my lack of fighting skills... so I don't know the difference between a hook and an upper-cut... I do now... so look out!), some zen yoga to cool down, and played some of the fitness games. They have a hula hoop game, which proved that I am still very poor at hula-ing. Couldn't do it as a kid, can't do it as an adult either. After working out, I finished up w/ an evening snack of a banana and another bottle of water.

I feel better about things today. I know the cravings and urges are going to go away. I know this is not going to be easy. But I'm committed and optimistic and excited about it... and I think the right mindset is half the battle.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Day 1 - I'm a Hungry Girl

... who hates her husband at the moment. :(

What does he ask me just now: "So what would you want for dinner if you could eat anywhere you want?" He's trying to figure out where to go to dinner w/ a friend. *grumble grumble*

Anyways, today I'm hungry. It is the first day of the whole diet and exercise thing. I've been good today. Aside from the tempting bowl of leftover chocolates from Christmas at work (which I would normally just grab one or two everytime I walk through the kitchen), I've been feeling good about everything today. Have support from some wonderful people, so that's really exciting!!!

Here's my day in a nutshell:

1 1/2 cups of coffee w/ 2 packets of Equal and Cofffeemate

1 packet of lower sugar oatmeal and a 100-calorie pack of cocoa roasted almonds (which I think went bad...) for breakfast

A handful of grapes for a mid-morning snack

Lunch consisted of a Lean Cuisine Sesame Stir Fry, a non-fat light yogurt, and a diet coke (What... can't give up ALL of my vices!!!)

Mid-afternoon snack was a small apple

I came home and started the Your Shape program for the Kinect. Did the fitness assessment and some zen yoga. Wrapped up with the fitness games, which are a lot of fun. Felt good afterwards. :)

For dinner, I made a Cajun blackened grilled fish filet, steamed corn, and a salad w/ feta cheese, almonds, and light Balsamic Vinigarette.

Finally, I wrapped up with a whole-grain English muffin with 2 tbsp of peanut butter and a diet green tea.


Sunday, January 2, 2011

Welcome to My World

Hello Readers:

This is my first attempt at blogging. Frankly, I've felt I have never had anything too exciting to talk about that others would feel compelled to read. I am, however, beginning the new year with a new attitude and a new outlook on life that I think having a blog will keep me on the right path.

I have decided that 2011 is the year that I am going to work on me and get myself in better shape. "In better shape" are the keywords there... I do not expect to end up with washboard abs, nor do I ever think I'm going to be a skinny girl. I would like to feel better about myself. To not be disappointed of the person I see in the mirror.

To begin, I want to put a few things out there, so that you can follow along with my progress:

- Who? This is my quest and my journey. I am married to my wonderful husband, Kurt, who is supportive of this endeavor, but will probably not be as committed as I am.

- What? I will be following the guidelines of the ABS Diet which I have used before with decent results. This time, it's not just a diet. I'm committing to a lifestyle change. I am also utilizing different exercise methods, including Zumba, our Kinect for X-Box and the Your Shape: Fitness Evolved program, and Dance Central for Kinect (which I still need to purchase...).

- Why? This is probably the most important question... I am doing this for numerous reasons
1. At some point in the future, I would like to have a baby. And I would like to have a healthy, enjoyable pregnancy.
2. I am fed up with myself. I hate that I have no energy, that I have let myself get as heavy as I have. I want to be healthy.
3. I think blogging will help keep me motivated. Even if no one ever reads my posts, I will still feel like there are people interested in what I am trying to do, and will keep going when it gets difficult.

I was nervous at first to put myself out like this. My weight has always been an extremely touchy subject, but I think this will be cathartic. My plan is to post at least once a week with updates, news, what I've been eating, doing, etc.

The end goal is that in a year, I will have lost 50 pounds. That's 1 pound a week, 4 pounds a month, which I do not think is too ambitious and fairly reach-able.

With all of this in mind, welcome to my adventure (and mis-adventures, I'm sure!) in losing weight and becoming a better, healthier me.