Welcome to the exciting world of me trying to make a new start and become a better me!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Weigh In #3

Good evening, and my apologies for not posting this sooner. :(

Ok, week 5 is in the books, and my 3rd weigh-in is.......

Loss of 3 pounds, for a total of 11 lbs. in 3 weeks! Yay!!!!

Still not noticing my clothes fitting different, which is kind of a bummer. Some of my pants are more comfortable, but not like, loose or big. The only pants I've noticed that are a bit bigger are my workout pants I just bought, but I think it's more because I stretched them out. LOL.

Had a very successful, yet ass-kicking workout w/ the Your Shape program tonight. Burned 378 calories tonight in 45 minutes. Now I'm pretty whooped and looking forward to just heading upstairs, showering, and going to bed.

In other news, I auditioned for a show tonight that I have been looking forward to very much, and got a callback for Thursday for the female lead!! I couldn't be more excited, especially since the last time I was in a show I was in high school, and being casted as a major character didn't happen much... except once. I was the "bad guy" in a murder mystery dinner theatre in HS. It was probably the most fun I had in a role.

The show is called "Fat Pig" by Neil LaBute. The premise is that a "normal" guy falls for an attractive, witty, plus sized girl and the hell normal guy gets from his friends, an obnoxious, narcissitic jackass of a guy and an ex girlfriend who wants more to their relationship. Eventually, he has to come to terms w/ how he feels about the relationship as well as his own preconceived notions. I'm in the running for the attractive and witty plus sized girl (I suppose that's kind of obvious... though not real sure about the attractive and witty part... LOL).  In researching the show, it's definitely one that takes on a lot of the stereotypes people have about heavy people, and it's a bit controversial. There's a good amount of cursing and dealing w/ some taboo topics, as well as some really not-so-nice names about plus sized people tossed around. I look at it as something much more than just a role... it's kind of my life. I've dealt with that kind of stuff in my past, and being that I've been a big girl since I was young, it gives me an opportunity to face and come to terms w/ some of the terrible things that I've been called or experienced.

In going through this change in my life, I have had to face some hard truths about things and who and what I am. I tended to imagine myself thinner than what I was and the truth is, despite hating it, getting on the scale and looking at the number on it was liberating. It's me saying, I accept this for what it is. And it will not be that way forever. That's the important thing. Perhaps true change cannot come w/o a little bit of acceptance of what and why you're changing. Also, I have a lot  more confidence since starting this out. Not because I'm looking fabulous or anything, but more like inner confidence or inner strength. Sharing this journey was something that I wasn't sure if I could or should, but I am sooooooo glad I did. I'm proud of myself thus far. I'm owning up to myself and making myself vulnerable, but it's the most awesome and wonderful thing I've done in a looooooooooooong-ass time! :)

1 comment:

  1. Brittiani, I am so proud of you! I know everyone has been saying that - but from one friend to another who is also taking this journey of self-discovery, I say good for you. It's really hard to accept things about ourselves that aren't necessarily the most "likable" qualities...but we can either be our biggest advocates or our worst critics. I wish you all the best to come :)